Great Websites for Military Wives!

HELP SITES:

1. http://www.careeronestop.org/militaryspouse/ : this site will help you with relocation issues that pertains to your job and education.

2. http://www.militaryonesource.com/ : this site is a treasure trove of support. They give information as well as financial support to the military and their families. They are also available for contact 24 hours a day! Here are some of the issues they help with: Counseling services for personal and relationship issues, Child care and parenting issues,  Deployment and reunion issues, Education K-12 College, special needs, Spouse training, education, and career, Elder care issues, Money matters, Legal issues, Violence and trauma, Relocation, Transition to civilian life, Healthy habits, Consumer issues and travel, Translation assistance. 

3. www.listen-up.org/htm/military.htm : this site provides resources for deaf and hard of hearing children of military families.

4. http://www.militaryhomefront.dod.mil/ : this website is the government website that offers mainly informational support for troops and their families. Great information on a variety of issues such as: abuse, education, relocation, PTSD, and more.

FUN SITES:

1. www.customizedgirl.com/militarywife : this site has the cutest military wife t-shirts and panties. You can even customize them with your service member's name or rank.

2. http://www.zazzle.com/military+wife+gifts : this website has a variety of items like: t-shirts, bumper stickers, mugs, calendars, even adorable military support shoes! Some of the items are customizable.

3. www.marriedtothearmy.com : fun advice, bulletin boards, questions and answers, and military support gear!

4. www.littlebochic.etsy.com : ok, I had to put my site in! I make a lot of children's items, but I also have some military themed products, and will be making more soon!

If you know of any other helpful or fun sites please post them as comments. Give us a short description of what the site is about! Thanks!!

The Creation of the Military Wife

The good Lord was creating a model for military wives when an angel appeared. The angel said, "Lord, what is the matter with the standard woman model?" The Lord replied, "The military wife needs to be more than the standard woman. She has to be completely independent, posses the qualities of a mother and be able to fill in for a father, be a perfect hostess of four or forty and sometimes high ranking NCO's and OIC's with an hour's notice, run on little sleep, handle every emergency imaginable, be able to carry on cheerfully, even if she is pregnant or sick, and she must be willing to move endlessly. And oh, yes, she must have six pairs of hands."
     The angel shook his head. "Six pairs of hands?" The Lord continued, "Don't worry, we shall make other military wives to help her. And we will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her husband's achievements, sustain the pain of separations, and it can beat soundly when it's over-worked and tired. It will be large enough to say 'I understand,' even when she does not, and put her needs aside for the sake of her husband's, children's, and even other military wives'."
     The angel circled the model of the military wife, looked at it closely and sighed, "It looks fine, but it's too soft." "She might look soft," replied the Lord, "but she has the strength of a lion. You would not believe what she can endure."
     Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Lord's creation. "There's a leak," he announced. "I am not surprised that it has cracked. You are trying to put too much into this model."
     The Lord appeared offended at the angel's lack of confidence. What you see is not a leak," he said. "It's a tear." "A tear? What is it there for?" asked the angel. The Lord replied, "It's for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and a dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold dear."
     "You are a genius!" exclaimed the angel.

PTSD symptoms and tips

   Below are some of the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There are tips for each one that you can follow or have your soldier read if they are willing. It is important to seek help from a licenced professional for this condition.  Medications can be used in some cases in the first phases of treatment which can contribute to success.
   Many men, especially servicemen are resistant to the idea of counseling or taking medication. If he will not seek help himself, then it can be helpful if you lead by example. Seeking counseling by yourself will help you to cope with the repercussions in your life, as well as know what to do from a professional prospective. This will also help him warm up to the idea of seeking counseling himself.
   Military One Source offers free counseling to soldiers and their families, check this out at http://www.militaryonesource.com/. It is extremely easy to apply and they help you schedule your first appointment.

Symptoms and Tips:

• Unwanted upsetting memories, images, thoughts, or nightmares
• remind the soldier that they are only memories and not the current reality
• remind him that it is normal to have memories of the event(s)
• encourage him to talk to someone he trusts, whether it is you or not
• remind him that memories can be overwhelming, often weaken over time
• Sudden feelings of anxiety or panic- heart pounding, lightheadedness, spacey feeling
• remember these reactions are not dangerous
• the inaccurate fear of these reactions heightens the feelings (feeling like they are having a heart attack or they are going to lose control)
• Encourage them to breath slowly
• Remember the sensations will pass soon
• Encourage them to have positive thinking, each time they have a positive outlook about the reactions they will be helping them to happen less and be less intense.
• Feeling like the trauma is happening again
• Tell him to keep his eyes open and notice where he is
• Talk to him or encourage him to talk to himself about where he is
• Remind him that the trauma happened in the past
• Ask him to get up and move around/ distract him (he can wash his hands, get some water, etc)
• Encourage him to talk to someone he trusts about it when it happens
• Remind him this reaction is normal
• Encourage him to talk to a councilor or doctor
• Nightmares or dreams
• If he awakens panicked remind him that it was a dream, that is why he is feeling panicked and not because he is in real danger now
• Encourage him to get up and orient himself
• Encourage him to do something to calm him down, like listen to calm music
• Ask him to talk about it if he wants
• Encourage him to talk to his doctor or councilor medications can be an option
• Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
• Help him engage in healthy sleep hygiene
• Encourage a regular bedtime routine, help with this by going to bed with him or not doing things he will miss out on while he sleeps
• Remind him to avoid work outs 2 hours before bedtime (if his PT schedule allows!)
• Ask him to limit caffeine, alcohol, and tobacco (yeah right, I know...but it will really help if he can)
• If he is lying in bed restless encourage him to get up and regroup by doing something relaxing.
• Irritability, anger, rage
• This one is hard to help him on!
• Ask him at a calm time to use a time out when he feels enraged
• DO NOT encourage the situation or give into his anger, this will not help nor solve the problem.
• Wait until he is calm to continue the conversation
• Encourage him to exercise daily if he is not already
• Encourage him to talk to a doctor or councilor
• If the rage feels threatening or turns violent seek help, do not put up with abuse for the sake of "helping" your soldier cope with PTSD. At that point it has crossed over from you helping to you being abused.
• Difficulty concentrating
• Give him time to slow down and re-focus. Even if this means stopping a conversation or plans. do not nag or make fun of him.
• Help him break down tasks into smaller chunks
• Help him plan a reasonable amount of tasks for a day, do not over load him with to-dos. As a rule of thumb- don't ask him to do things you can reasonably do for yourself! (we all know that we can do a hell of a lot because we do it all the time while they are gone!)
• Encourage him to talk to a doctor or councilor, this could be a sign of depression
• Difficulty feeling or expressing emotion: feeling numb
• This is common
• Do not make him feel guilty
• Remind him that it is not his fault he feels this way
• encourage him to participate in activities the he enjoys.

Keep following for more information on PTSD and other helpful topics!

Please tell us about your experiences with PTSD and if you/ he sought counceling how it worked for you.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

   For those of us who are in a military family, the term post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is not an unfamiliar one.  Although the branches of the military whole-heartedly support helping our troops cope and overcome this, those feelings may or may not trickle down depending on the quality of your soldier's leaders. The seriousness of this disorder is sometimes overlooked, ignored, or made fun of by sevice member's peers and even superiors.  Therefore, as a family member it is important for us to know the signs, be patient with our soldier, and encourage treatment at an early date.

   Active coping with PTSD is understanding, recognizing and accepting the impact that the traumatic event or events have had on your life, and taking actions to overcome that. This is the hardest part for our troops because they are trained to be physically and mentally tough. In fact, that is a line in the Soldier's Creed, an oath that all Army soldiers take. Admitting that the war zone or specific events have affected them is admitting weakness to them. Actually the opposite is true; when a person takes an active mindset on dealing with their problems they will start to feel a sense of empowerment and feel less helpless.
 
 Recovery is a slow and on-going process. Try to remember that your soldier is dealing with a considerable amount of stress, even if it has been years, work with him or her on their level. If they continue to have reactions this is normal because the healing process is not necessarily forgetting or not having an emotional connection with the memory. Healing is more closely defined as experiencing fewer symptoms and reactions over a period of time. Starting treatment early is best but it is never too late.

Keep following for more important information on PTSD.

*remember to seek help immediately if your service member is having suicidal thoughts as these should ALWAYS be taken seriously*

Top Ten Reasons To Love a Soldier:

10. Always looks good in his uniform
9.   He can sleep anywhere
8.   Can make a meal out of anything
7.   Expert in handling his equipment
6.   Carries a big gun
5.   Great at late night maneuvers
4.   Can fix anything
3.   Knows how to do his laundry
2.   Pre-trained to obey orders
1.   Because he is my Hero!

"I love my soldier" picture frame:
www.littlebochic.etsy.com

Favorite Military Wife Quotes

Here are some of my favorite military wife quotes!

1. Forget the shining armor-I'll take my man in dirty camo!

2. I can mess with government property

3. My hero wears combat boots

4. Nothing is sexier than a man who knows how to use his gun

5. the Army has my soldier but I have his heart

6. Some hero's wear capes, mine wears combat boots

AND MY FAVORITE (inappropriate, but oh so true):

7. Sexually deprived for your freedom!

What are some other great quotes for military wives?

Welcome!

    Welcome to my new blog about being a military wife. I am wife to an active duty Army Guard soldier. This is unique to the military because we are not "stationed" anywhere, and sometimes I feel I miss out on valuable support from a post or base. So here I am to offer encouragement, support, understanding, and a good laugh sometimes. I would love for anyone to share experiences or anything else they feel.

    I have survived one deployment, which lasted 18 months, countless month-long trainings, and numerous weeks and weekends. Our family is now gearing up for deployment next August. What some civilians do not understand is that even though the deployment is so far away there are many months of training ahead. Which means from the date the service member finds out they are deploying they have less time with you and the family!

   I look forward to getting to know and help as many people through this blog as possible!